What's the word for constant sacrifice?

You know I've spent almost all my life sacrificing pieces of myself for others, always putting my dreams on the sideline in order to help my family out or because of other unplanned circumstances. Yet I am unappreciated and devalued because I'm not as successful as others in their lives. I mean hello wake up where were you when your mother/mother in law was so sick from chemo that she couldn't cook, clean, barely take care of herself let alone others. So I put my dreams and myself on the back burner to take care of her because I loved her and she really had no one else that could do so, not that her husband didn't try but he was brought up in a different time when men had different roles than the caretaker and emotional support. Why do I have to continue sacrificing myself for these people who really could care less for me than a piece of paper. I'll tell you why, I have no place to go and well like I said before I wasted so much of my life forsaking myself and my dreams. I love you really means nothing when it's used to justify things that aren't alright, and it means nothing when you overuse it to validate yourself. I'm just so sick of these people and I regret almost every last sacrifice I made for them. Sort of drastic to say when they are your own family and the people who are supposed to be the ones you love unconditionally and the same in return. 


I realised today that the step-dad monster is a big part in why I have issues with men, well besides my own betrayals from ex-lovers. Why should I trust a man when he will never respect me? Why should I trust a man when he will always treat me and talk to me and at me like I am a complete moron? Why should I trust a man when his arrogance means his ego needs to be stroked constantly and if not then there will be hell to pay? Why should I trust a man when hes uses and manipulates me to get what he wants out of a situation or from someone else? A lot of valid reasons to distrust men is the only thing that man has ever taught me/given to me. I hate how that man talks to me like he knows everything when in all actuality he knows very little. I hate that I am expected to be the one who always sacrifices her needs, wants, dreams.... 


Not a great day in the least, but that's it for now. 


~Ember Rose~